Tue Feb 27 19:31:38 -0800 2007
Someone: but just F.Y.I
Mari: very nice and whatnot
Someone: you were right about wanting to touch you
Mari: wow, i just had an overwhelming feeling that you were going to say something to upset me
Someone: lol....did that upset you
Someone: i was j/k
Mari: no
Mari: it didn't
Someone: good
Mari: i guess i'm just used to guys being *******s to me
Mari: that's really sad
Someone: yea that isnt cool
Mari: it's pathetic
I'm a loser baby so why don't ya kill me?
Mon Jan 22 18:40:27 -0800 2007
I think being homesick is just about the crappiest thing. I always get home sick right after I come back to school. It'll get better in time, but the first few weeks are rough. I'll probably cry. But that cry will be a good cry. No matter how much I leave, I still feel sad to go. I miss college when I go back home, but it's not the same as leaving home. Blarrr. I seriously don't doubt it will get better with age either. I'm just ranting. Womp womp womp. Have a good night everybody.
Mari
Sun Jan 21 00:30:43 -0800 2007
**** YOU who thinks you are better than me for whatever reason!
**** YOU who wants me to change for your benefit!
**** YOU who put me down with your blatant lack of self-confidence!
**** YOU who acts as if I only matter to them half the time and if I try when I "don't matter" then I get blown off!
**** YOU who judge me based on my LOOKS. I AM NOT A STUCK UP SNOB, I AM NOT A PREPPY 'PRINCESS', and I AM NOT AN ANOREXIC WANNA-BE MODEL! If you spoke to me, YOU'D KNOW THIS!
**** YOU who try to play my niceness off as a weakness. I will not hesitate to say what I have been saying, **** YOU!
**** YOU who gets pissy when I don't do exactly what you want me to do! My life, my rules!
**** YOU who thinks they are smarter than me. Maybe you are, but your superiority bullshit is SO TIRED!
**** YOU who try to stomp my dreams!
**** YOU who thinks I'm just like "every other girl"!
**** YOU who doesn't have faith in me!
and **** YOU who wants to hold me back! I'ma do me, I'm going to shine, and I don't care what you think. I don't care if you're Donald ******g Trump offering me 200 million just to blink at you, I can and WILL NOT be bought!
I'm sick of people acting like I ain't ****. If you don't like me, if you have a problem with me, if you think I'm "stupid" or "phoney" or "annoying" or "boring", then go ahead and erase me outta your life! I don't need you and you certainly don't need me!
The one who I wrote this about knows exactly who he is. What you did tonight showed me the real you...showed me just how you feel about me. I don't think things will ever be the same between us, not like you care though. But you lost a good girl. Sucks to be you!
Fri Jan 19 23:11:34 -0800 2007
I talked with two of my suite mates for about an hour tonight. They seem really sweet. I actually might have a good semester this time. I'm in my own room this time, which means no crazy girls screaming at me because I'm typing on MY COMPUTER in MY ROOM. That means nobody coming in at 5:30 in the morning and waking me up. That means nobody in my room CONSTANTLY! It's time for a good semester, finally. I'm taking a photography class and a photoshop class. Whenever I create something that I really like, I'll post it up here to show everybody. On an off note, 80s tunes are the best to work out with.
Sun Jan 14 15:59:27 -0800 2007
So, I thought I was supposed to go back to Columbia today. I have
been thinking I was going back Sunday the 14th of January since
forever. So, today at 8:45 am we started driving to Pittsburgh (that’s
where I fly out from), which is a two hour drive. So, me and my mom
got there at around 11, and we did our goodbyes and I thought I
wouldn’t see my mom again until March. Well, I went in and tried to
get my tickets…went into the self-check in and did it unsuccessfully.
It kept saying that it couldn’t find my reservation. Then the lady
helped me, and she couldn’t find my reservation either. Guess what?
My flight is tomorrow 
I felt super, super smart. So yeah, I got to go back home and I get
to sleep in my own bed one last night and I get to watch Desperate
Housewives with my mom (she’s just starting to get into it) and I got
to eat an orange (which is greatttt). It’s weird because I even had a
dream last night where my mom changed my flight from today to tomorrow
morning. Blah. I’m stupid. Atleast it was really funny though. I
think I’m going to take a nap now before Desperate Housewives. Bye
everybody!
Love Always,
Mariana
Thu Jan 11 11:44:38 -0800 2007
Well, I've been on Paxed for almost two years (at least on this screen name-I had another one that I can't remember before that). Since May 2005. But I just realized it's only been about year...since I leave for months at a time and then come back. August 05-February 06 I was gone. June 06 - January 07 I was gone. So the way things are going, I should be gone again by April 07.
******g a.
I'm going to go burn Secret Window now.
Mon Jan 08 11:46:18 -0800 2007
I had to go to the dentist today to get a tooth recemented. While I was going there a dog ran out in the road and I hit it. I couldn't stop because there was a car behind me. I just hit it, didn't run it over. While I was driving away I saw people run out into the road and get it. I pulled over about 100 yards up the road into a church parking lot and cried my eyes out. It was right near my mom's work so her and a friend went and checked to see about it. They said there was no blood and nobody was out in their yard anymore. We don't think it died, but we really have no way of knowing. This has been one of the most horrible days of my life, seriously. That poor little doggie, those people should have had him on a leash, especially when they lived right beside a busy road. I remember once when I was younger I was outside playing in the snow and I had my dog. I let this younger boy hold the leash and he let go. She went running up this hill to were a road was and I chashed her to this bridge. She went went step beside the road, saw the cars, and came running back to me. It was sooo scary, but atleast she didn't get hit. Just typing about this again makes me wanna start crying again.
God, please save that poor little doggie.
-Mari
